Day 101

Worst day ever -- again. It started with a couple of my asshole coworkers. They brought in a cage full of indigenous and were eating them alive. It was sickening. I thought about my little Didge at home and wanted to beat them both bloody but there was nothing I could do. They already call me "freak." If they found out that I don't take kindly to their treatment of didges they would have a field day with me. Dealing with them is hard enough as it is. But, damn, why must they be such savages?

I couldn't wait to get home so that I could cuddle Didge. The little beastie has found out all on their own where my weak spot is. For something with such a tiny brain they are surprisingly smart. I thought that maybe I could teach them to talk but so far, nothing. I did teach them to pat their little hands together when they are happy, so that's something at least.

What a fright I had! Didge likes to ride around on my shoulder and usually is very sure-footed there, but tonight they lost their grip and started to fall. I made a grab for them totally out of instinct and then was terrified that I had been too rough and maybe hurt them. What would I do if that happened? It isn't like there's a didge-hospital I could take them to. I just held them and petted them and kept saying "Please be all right, please be all right." They were squeaking a lot at first and that scared me, but after a while they stopped and then after that didn't show any signs of being in pain. Relief! I made sure to be very, very careful with them after that.

I guess you would say that Didge and I had our first fight. After yesterday's close call I wanted to be sure there would be no chance of them falling again. I bought a necklace, figuring that it would be a simple matter just to tie them to it so that they would have a safety line in case they slipped again. Every time I tried to attach the string to them, they slipped out of it. "Come on," I kept saying, "This is for your own good!" They just wouldn't have any of it, though. I spent, I don't know how long battling with the little jerk. In the end, though, I figured out that it was a matter of dominance. If I tried to tie them up, then no way. But they were perfectly happy if I made it look like they were the boss and I was the one being tied to them, not the other way around. The idea was so absurd that I almost busted a gut laughing. But whatever works. I am comfortable that we have a safety line, and Didge gets to strut around on my shoulder like they are the emperor of the world.

About to go to sleep now but I can't get an idea out of my head. Didge has accepted the safety line which is fine for when they're sitting on my shoulder. When they aren't on my shoulder, they often like to snuggle up against my personals. I worry about falling asleep with them there, but what if we could design another safety line? I think that they would like that. I would too. I'm going to do a bit of research.

Well, I've played a heck of a game of twisty-turns. I just wanted to see if there was something that I could use to keep Didge safe against my personals, but the more I looked, the more I found, and the more I found, the more I couldn't stop looking. There's a whole industry devoted to this sort of thing. I think we both would like to be able to do more with each other and maybe we can find something out of all of this that will make it possible. I am not sure what half of these things even do but how hard could it be to figure out?

Whoever packed the box must have thought I was the biggest pervert outside of the homeworld. I let Didge decide where we would start and was pretty nervous when they picked out the Tormentube. "No, let's not," I said, but their little hands went pap-pap-pa, and who am I to argue with the emperor of the world? I made some holes in it so that they wouldn't suffocate and made sure we used enough lube, and once we got started: oh, oh, oh, oh my! I never came that hard before in my life. Didge seemed just as happy as I was with it so tonight we're going to give it another go.

Still working through the collection. The Tube remains our favorite. I scratched out the "Tormen" part on the side on general principles.

Didge wanted to try out one of the first ones we checked out last week. There's no name on it and none of these things come with instructions, but we had no better luck figuring it out than we did the first time. I'm just not built like that. Nobody is. Neither is Didge. I am starting to wonder if maybe I ordered the wrong item or they sent me some sort of gardening tool by mistake. I finally put it up on the shelf and decided that we'd just call it "the Enigma". We settled for good old Tubey instead.

Ow. No. Whoever thought up the "Hell-icopter" can ride it to Hell themselves. We'll stick with Tubey.

We finally came across the harness that was the original impetus for this spending spree. I missed it at first because there is not really much to it. Didge seemed interested but I vetoed it. The chains are cold and heavy and the material in the cuffs feels awfully scratchy. I can't imagine it being very comfortable for Didge or for me. It's a shame because it seems to be just the design that I had been looking for, but what is the point of a safety harness that stands to cause more harm than it offers in protection?

I picked up some soft yarn on the way home tonight and spent some time replicating the harness design. Didge helped, clever little thing that they are, and between the two of us we made our own pirated version that won't chafe the little one or freeze the big one's personals. We finished cleaning up after a fine evening with our friend Tubey. Didge was impatient to try our pirate harness but I made sure to take it slow and easy. It's remarkably comfortable, although every little move that Didge makes sends sparks through me (probably the whole point of it). It's a good thing I'm already spent or I don't think I would get any rest tonight.

The little maniac keeps licking and nuzzling. I said a hundred times, "Quit it, now, I need to sleep!" but in the end I just had to release the pressure myself. I can feel the smug oozing out of the little fiend.

I must have found myself the most perverted didge on the planet. This morning I tried to unfasten them from the harness but every time I loosened one of the loops, they just pulled it tight again. "Stop it," I said, "I need to get to work!" I was getting ready just to cut the cords on the harness when I felt tiny teeth pinching at me. I said "Oh, don't you dare!" and "You do it and I swear I'll crush your bones!" but they wouldn't give in. So then I said, "Fine! Have it your way!" and just yanked my briefs up and tucked everything into my trousers and away I went.

That led to the most nerve-wracking morning ever. What was I thinking? What if the little beast started stimulating me and I couldn't hide it? Thankfully, Didge turns out to be smart enough not to do that. I think they realize that outside of the house it's not a game and that if someone else finds out about them, then we are both cooked, so they stayed quiet, mostly. I took every opportunity I could to let them out for some fresh air when we were in private. They seem as happy as can be with the arrangement, and it's not so bad for me either. I just have to be careful when I sit down.

As soon as I got home I made Didge untie themselves so they could run around. "You can't spend your whole life in my pants," I said. "You need to exercise or you'll get fat."

Didge has gotten over wanting to go to work with me. Spending the entire day cooped up with a giant's personals must have gotten old since this morning they let themselves free before I got up and didn't chase after me whining to be bound up again. On one hand I was relieved not to have to worry about being found out. On the other hand, it felt kind of lonely. I do like the sensation of the warm little bulk nestled up against me.

I brought a treat home for Didge for supper. Afterward we'll see if they are up to another date with Tubey.

So much for having gotten over it. We're back to playing Hidden Didge. It's a good thing that everyone at work avoids me. It gives me more than enough private time so that I can let Didge out. We shared lunch and a snack and a workout together and then they were totally content with spending the rest of the day in the harness. They're a crazy little monster, but I love them.

Didge is asleep on my chest, too worn out even to climb into the harness. I can barely move, myself. We got to the end of the collection, kept the ones we liked and destroyed the rest. Smashing the Hell-icopter to pieces was insanely gratifying. For some reason we decided to give the Enigma one more look before we trashed it. I don't know how it happened but something clicked in both of us at the same time. Now I am speechless. There's just no describing it. Thanks for everything, Tubey, but I'm afraid you've been replaced!

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